A car accident.
A plane crash.
Is this what it takes? Some horrific eye-opening bad news bears life experience for us to actually gather up the courage to finally do that thing.
Take that trip.
Write that book.
Start that business.
Train for that race.
Register for that class.
Quit that habit.
Hug that kid.
Say “I love you.” to that person
And “Enough” to that one.
Are we so past the point of no return that the threat of Death’s door is now trumping the threat of Mom’s judgment? C’mon! Say it ain’t so. We need Death to give us the pass? Really?
We all tend to fall into a viral complacency that masks and numbs us. It allows us to blame others for the dreams we never fulfilled and to shame those who really went for it and didn’t “make it.” The failure of others tends to strengthen our resolve in a See, I told ya so condescending mentality that only pisses us all off. What’s behind all of it is, you guessed it, fear. See, I don’t even have to tell you that. You know that. You do. So, why then are we allowing ourselves to get swept up in the current of fear that has taken over our entire society? Why are we not swimming against the current or even grabbing a visible root to take a breath? Again, yes, I know, it always comes back to fear. I wish it didn’t. So, how to crack it. I guess the first question really is, do you want to crack it? Do you want to face the unknown with steadfast courage and whip-smart resolve? Do you want to face the known? All that you’ve been bottling up for months, years, decades. When we become too comfortable with the chronic uneasiness of resentment it’s much harder to take a solid look at ourselves. It’s way easier and ego-boosting to point fingers, and give fingers, to everybody who is holding us back.
We don’t even give ourselves the chance to mess up our dreams. We convince ourselves that everything is alright. We whip out our gratitude journals or mentally list all that we are grateful for. We tell ourselves that we have enough. That we’re being greedy. Who do we think we are to want more? The worst part? We actually end up believing ourselves and think that we’re taking the higher road. How do ya like me now, Uncertainty and Fear?
Thing is, if we never have a go at facing the blank page, lacing up our sneaks, booking that flight, hugging that kid, then fear wins in freaking spades! Whether it’s fear of what people think, that we’ll fail, or that we’ll actually succeed, that little nugget of desire doesn’t just miraculously melt away. It manifests and hardens into a delightful cocktail of anxiety, depression, jealousy, resentment, and regret. We don’t need any more pissed off, alcoholic, overweight, financially ruined people in the world. Speaking of…
“This quitting thing, it’s a hard habit to break once you start.” – Coach Buttermaker
Coach Buttermaker, Walter Matthau’s character in Bad News Bears nabs three of the four aforementioned traits like a champ and still manages to teach us all that it’s not about winning the game, it’s about believing in yourself, being true to yourself, and playing the game. Getting in there and getting dirty. Taking the chance. This is not just Hallmark card B.S., folks. No, fear doesn’t go away. No, the I just threw up in my mouth feeling doesn’t disappear. But it definitely diminishes. What increases are the feelings of self-worth and child-like excitement (on most days) of your commitment to follow through and show up for yourself. You show up, you grow up. Right? Yes, people may squirm a little at your newfound laser focus and unflinching determination, but, c’mon you’re actually helping them take a look at themselves. Not everybody will be thanking you for that. Not your problem. Keep your keepers close by and you’ll have a shock-proof support system.
We need more dreamers. More chance takers. More why-the-hell-not-ers. We need you! Desperately.
Today, if you dare, take just 15 minutes to do that thing that you’ve been wanting to do (or dreading – same coin sometimes). Write, paint, google Costa Rica flights, research that class, tie up those sneaks, make that call. We all deserve to live truly now. Not later. Not at 65. And hell no, not after surviving one of life’s wake-up calls. Now.
“Listen, Lupus, you didn’t come into this life just to sit around on a dugout bench, did ya? Now get your ass out there and do the best you can.” – Coach Buttermaker