The Importance of Being a Perspective Detective

captain fantastic{5 minute read}

It’s anger. It’s sadness. It’s confusion and frustration. When our thoughts and beliefs are questioned or receive any sort of push back we tighten up, rev up, gear up for the fight. We become uptight and ready to pounce. We will prove them wrong once and for all. We will plow through everything to declare that we are right no matter who we have to take down along the way. We do a Herculean white-knuckle grip to our beliefs as if that will give us the strength and fuel to win the case. The case that we have created out of a vain sense of existence. God forbid we gain perspective. Hell no we won’t see the other side. After all, what if we are wrong? Shit. What if they have a point? What will it take for us to understand that we can have faith in our beliefs and values and yet, still gain perspective? Still, see the world through someone else’s eyes.

Perspective and beliefs are not mutually exclusive. They are not pitted against each other unable to share the love. Because, really, that’s what it all comes down too, right? Love. Simple and true. It’s all love. What we do is all for love. Feeling we aren’t getting enough of it or that we will lose what we are receiving. That the doses will be cut off and we will wither away and die alone. That we will be seen for who we really are and not for who we really want to be. The fear of love and the love of fear. Love of fear? What? Yes. Love of fear. People do love fear. It’s an out. It’s a hall pass. It’s a way to not fully go for it. It’s fear’s fault. We hand over our rights and our privileges to fear for no other reason than we are afraid that we will be loved less if we aren’t afraid. If we really go for it. If we take the chance. If we show our true selves. If we expose our vulnerabilities. If we see their side. We can “if” ourselves to death – which is fine because at least we’ll still be loved. But at what cost?

Perspective is necessary now more than ever. Understanding other’s points of view. Looking out for someone else other than yourself. Start small. Start local. Just start. See where you can gain perspective. Look for opportunities. Work on seeing where people are coming from. How and why they see the world that way. Ask them their story. We all have stories to tell. That we’re yearning to share. The curiosity of becoming a perspective detective can create bonds you never knew were possible. It can mend riffs that have been going on for decades. It has the potential to allow you to see the world in a bolder and crystal clear way becoming more attuned than ever before. It takes practice, dedication, forgiveness and often time heartbreaks that will mend. They will. As long as you can see clearly that gaining perspective is not a cowardly act but one of the most courageous and life-changing decisions you can ever make.

The movie Captain Fantastic embraces this theme beautifully. Starring Viggo Mortensen, it is a movie about family and loss and freedom. But above all else, it’s about love. Pure and raw love. It embraces the idea that it takes the courage of a warrior to be the parent you need to be and not the one you want to be. Captain Fantastic could very well save the world. If I could magically deliver a copy into every household I would. It is that important. It is that vital. It is that necessary. It is the ultimate superhero.

Go see for yourself.


Captain Fantastic (2016, dir Matt RossIn the forests of the Pacific Northwest, a father devoted to raising his six kids with a rigorous physical and intellectual education is forced to leave his paradise and enter the world, challenging his idea of what it means to be a parent.  

Rellian: If you assume that there is no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, that there are opportunities to change things, then there is a possibility that you can contribute to making a better world.

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